It all started with a Google Flood Light Camera

It all started with a Google Flood Light Camera. I will forever be thankful for that camera.

Let me tell you what I mean. My ex and I bought a Google Floodlight camera and two other wireless Google cameras when we were going to take a trip to make sure our home was safe when we were gone. The floodlight is specifically set up in the backyard and has bright lights that turn on with motion. The backyard backs into a bike path where many people go on bike rides, walks, walking dogs, or running. The "zone" on the camera is set to cover most of the backyard and a little bit of the bike path. So, if someone is passing by behind the house, the Google camera sends an alert saying "person" seen.

Most of these alerts appear either early in the morning or afternoon - most likely before and after people go or come back from work. So, I have gotten so used to receiving "motion detected" or "person seen" alerts that I usually ignore them after a while.

Fast forward to August 4th, 2021...... I will forever remember the date.

I dropped kids off at daycare and wanted to get away from the house - specifically my maniacal ex and his parents (I will tell the story of why I am labeling him that way and why his parents were visiting later.) So, after dropping the kids off at daycare, I decided to grab my stuff and go to my office to prepare for the upcoming work year.

I have a little magnetic holder for my phone in the car that I use to talk to people and see the notifications in real-time without picking it up. So, usually, when a Google notification comes, it shows up on the front page, "motion," with a tiny picture next to it to show me what it caught, then disappears. I look at the notification, and if I don't see a face next to our backyard door, I ignore it. Not on August 4th...

I need to mention that I am not a religious person but more on the spiritual side. I believe a force out there watches over us, but I don't use labels.

Anyway, back to the story... I grabbed my stuff for work, hopped back in the car, and hit the road. I was on the road for 3 minutes - tops. I received a Google notification that said "person" on my phone. I saw a person-looking image when I looked at that tiny notification screen. At the same time, something deep down inside me pushed me - correction, it felt more like "compelled" me - to touch the notification... so I did...............

When the livestream turned on, no people were visible on the camera. So, I was about to turn it off, but I had to make a right turn at a red light, so I was looking out onto the street to make the turn safely. For now, I didn't mind listening to the birds chirping and wind whooshing sounds blasting into my car through the Bluetooth connection. I made the turn. As I lifted my arm to swipe up to return to my home screen on the phone, I heard a phone dial tone. Initially, I couldn't understand it, but within a second, I heard someone answer, "Hey." Familiar voice... my sister-in-law's voice. Then my in-laws responded excitedly, "Heeey." Then, the conversation started.

You may be thinking now - "You kept listening?!" I promise you. It was not my intention. When I heard their voice, I thought, "I can't escape from these a#$%holes." So, when I heard them exchange hi's and how are you's, I didn't think much of it. But those initial regular phone conversations took a drastic turn quickly, so I kept the live stream on. I will write the conversation down below as a script for you. I will label my sister-in-law SIL and in-laws IL when they speak together, and I will label MIL and FIL for my mother-in-law and father-in-law, respectively.

(SIL): hey, how is it going?

(IL): hey good how are you?

SIL: oh good. I stopped by your house. checked the mail. (mentioned something about receiving a specific mail for one of their volunteer works and asked if it was something urgent that she needed to mail to our house.)

MIL: oh no no. it can wait. (some minor gossip about the mail.)

Note: At this point, I was about to exit the live stream thinking they are just updating each other. As I almost turned it off, following question was asked.

SIL: so how is it going over there?

IL: oh it is bad

SIL: oh really

IL: yeah it is really bad.

SIL: how is X (ex's name - her brother. We will call him X from now on.)

MIL: oh he is fine. it was an issue with his prescription. he is better now (it was not an issue with his prescription. story for next time.)

SIL: oh good. he figured it out.

IL: yeah yeah, he is good but oh it is bad here.

SIL: what is going on?

MIL: oh they have no emotion towards each other.

SIL: they don't talk?

MIL: oh, they do, but very business, matter-of-fact type. no emotions whatsoever. she (meaning me) is cold. doesn't smile. she is not a companion. this is not a companionship.

SIL: oh..

MIL: I went into the garage yesterday. I counted 40 pairs of shoes.

SIL: oh.. small chuckle

MIL: yeah. kids run this house. there is no schedule. no discipline. X tries to put a schedule down but he gets scolded. she talks to him like a kid. she is like a doormat to the kids. kids do whatever they want. she doesn't discipline them. if someone tries to discipline and X does try, she scolds him and talks down on him. kids need structure and these kids have no structure.

SIL: oh... (surprised "oh")

MIL: yeah, she sleeps until 9-9:30am with B (my youngest) and X is up with A earlier. it really bother X that they sleep that late. he is stuck in the morning taking care of A.

SIL: oh.. have you talked to her?

MIL: oh you cant talk to her. when you try, she either shuts down or shuts you down. there is no talking to her (her reasoning behing this shut down is a different story as well.)

SIL: so passive aggressive?

MIL: oh yes, very passive aggressive. she is in her pajamas all day, walks around with her hair in a bun. no smiles, doesnt talk much with anyone. pretty bad.

SIL: so, she has some psychological issues?

MIL: oh yes.

SIL: well if she has psychological issues and doesn't want to get help, it is not X's problem.

MIL: oh no, it isn't. X is doing great.

I will pause the conversation script here for a second. Let's say that I have psychological problems and maybe I am going through a major depressive episode - FYI, I am on medication and doing great. Anyway, let's say that I wasn't getting help, and all their "observations" were correct, and I needed help.

Who the hell is supposed to make it their problem to help me? I would think that, first and foremost, my f#$%^ husband! Let's switch the roles that were happening right at that time. If I realized he wasn't doing good and needed help, I would (and I did) do everything in my power to help him. Didn't we say in sickness and in health? Weren't we supposed to be each other's support? Weren't we supposed to be each other's priority? Anyway... continuing with the conversation because the best part is below... if the above discussion pissed you off at all, wait for the last bit of the conversation that happened right after............

SIL: so, what is the plan?

MIL: oh, now the priority is to get them to (the location where they reside including both my SILs).

SIL: oh ok.

MIL: yeah, once they move, we will figure the custody out then................................................

Until that point, I had no idea there was a talk, thought, willingness, want, or any other word that describes something similar to these about DIVORCE. X mentioned he wasn't happy here and wanted to move back. And, idiot old me said, if you are not satisfied here, I will follow you, move with you. You are my husband. But that was the whole conversation. No specific plans as to if we are moving, when that would be, what we would do for jobs... mentioning jobs, all that was happening, without my input or any discussions with me, was that they were looking at jobs in their state and printing off potential government jobs and talking among themselves and would stop when I showed up. One time, they left a printed job posting on the kitchen island, when I saw it, I asked X, what that was and I plainly and openly told him, I don't know what is happening so is this your way of telling me you are looking at jobs? He said, "No, my dad is trying to be helpful. There is nothing specific. Why are you taking everything the wrong way? Not everything is about you." I responded, "Well, what else am I supposed to think when there is a job posting printed left for me to see out in the open where I am not even privy to this conversation? This is OUR life, so if a decision is going to be made, it needs to be made with you and me, not you and them." He blurted out some other excuse and told me it wasn't anything, so we left it at that.

You can imagine my shock, horror, and anger as I heard those words. They started talking about other stuff, said goodbyes, and returned to the house.

Here I am, driving but wholly frozen. All I could do was spot a parking lot, pull the car in, and sit there. I still remember the feeling - a motion of numbness started from my head and traveled down to my toes. I have no recollection of what was said after the custody comment.

I called my parents (who reside overseas), and as they answered my video call, they smiled and said hi. When they saw my face, my parents came before the tiny little camera on my mom's cell phone; my dad turned the TV off and asked what was happening. I couldn't find the words to tell them for a whole minute. They worried that something happened to the girls. All I could say was, "Everyone is fine. Give me a minute. I am trying to find a place to start." Then, I started from somewhere, I don't know where, and they listened. I told them just like I wrote here. Up until that day, I had never heard my parents talk badly about my X or ILs. When I finished unleashing the story and my anger, all I could hear was my mom in the background yelling nonstop and my dad's angry face on the video. The first and only thing he said was to drive back home, tell X what you heard, and ask him to send his parents back. Because we still thought it was his parents doing, and he didn't, wouldn't, couldn't have known, and would have my back and kick his parents out of my house. Oh, was I wrong....