Big Bad Wolf

After I received my protection order and kicked him out of the house, I felt lonely. I didn't really have a support group or a community. All I wanted to do was tell everyone what I was going through. So, if anyone asked me how life was, I was ready to unleash everything bubbling in me.

Of course, I also knew it was a sensitive time of my life, so the majority of my venting and talking about the issues happened in my therapist's and my attorney's offices.

At one point, I had to let my boss know that this was happening, as we both worked at the same place, and I did not want anyone to ask us to do something together (it happened from time to time). I told him very briefly that we were going to divorce, and I told my daughters' daycare teachers that it was going to happen. I asked if there was anything that I could do to make this transition smoother.

Yes, I was looking for guidance, but at the same time, I was looking for relief by telling anyone that I was going through this stressful time.

So, here and there, I was starting to make friends and slowly opening up about what I was going through. I tried to thread carefully as I didn't want to give more information than I intended to because it was still an ongoing process. After he was gone, my house started to feel peaceful again. I began to feel calm again, so I realized that, slowly, the urge to tell everyone what happened began to subside.

Fast forward to after divorce..... oh my, oh my...

I still had no need or urge to talk to anyone about him at that time. He is done for me. I only started this blog to spread awareness of what I went through and if anyone is out there going through similar things so that they can see the red flags. Anywho.... I started hearing these stories about him, where he made a mess of himself at work.

He yelled and belittled a student. He yelled at a coworker. He yelled at an assistant. He stopped showing up for his duties. He started showing his aggressive tendencies at different meetings. In some meetings, he did not make any sense. He was jittery, kept fidgeting, and just kept leaving the meeting, whether online or via Zoom.

People were too friendly to say something to his face, but everyone started talking behind his back. Many are afraid of him, especially with these shootings and whatnot; they are worried for their safety, so they tread lightly. Due to their silence, he thinks he can do anything, say anything, and he will be okay. He is walking around like he is a big bad wolf—the tough guy, fearless—except that he is trying to cover his insecurities with these behaviors.

Someone at work approached me and said they were glad I was rid of him. They were wondering where he got off track, and I told them, "Oh, he was always like this, but he was doing it to us at home. Now that he doesn't have anyone to unleash his aggressions, it is bleeding into his work." They basically responded by saying, "Lucky us," sarcastically.

I am not bad and have never wished anything bad on anyone. I have never wished anything bad on him either, but I wanted everyone to know, in some way, what he put us through and his real colors. Thankfully, the universe heard me, and now, without me even lifting a finger, everyone is aware of who he is and what type of a person he is.

Lucky me - - - - not sarcastically.